The Rolls-Royce Boat Tail. A trilogy of unique, one-off bespoke creations by the coachbuilders of Crewe. A testament to quality, detail and craftsmanship. Four years of painstaking design and labour went into making these. They are truly monolithic. More so than the Phantom, in this writer’s opinion. Looking more like they were carved straight out a giant node of metal ore rather than bolted together out of bits and pieces that only mere mortals can manage. The simplicity of the design is astounding and only adds to that weight of presence. The long, continuous shoulder line that tapers off to the rear is elegant and refined, but muscular and imperious.

It’s a shame, again, in this writer’s opinion, that what must have been an astonishing effort to create, has a rather novelty purpose.

You see, tucked away in that boat deck of a rear lies all you need for an exceptionally fancy picnic. Crystal glasses, silver cutlery and exquisite crockery. Bottle holders not only keep your finest-of-fine champagne secure but chilled too. It all seems rather anti-climactic.

All the engineering that’s gone into the folding rear panels and the built-in and swivel-out carbon fibre tables just so the owners can sit and have a glass of bubbly with their foie gras. Rolls-Royce even engineered their own parasol solution. As neat as it is, it just seems all rather over-the-top for a picnic hamper on wheels.

But then, at £20million a piece, everything needs to be over the top. And that’s been my issue with this car. I have no problem with the design on its own. The clients went to Rolls-Royce and commissioned them to create a boat for land and that’s what they’ve delivered. The below comparisons highlight that.

The same continuous shoulder line to that of a Riva. The smooth, sculpted sides. The elegant tapering to the rear. All very seafaring.

But that price tag. It didn’t shock me. It made me wonder. Sure, Bugatti put their La Voiture Noire out in 2019 for around £12million and I couldn’t see where all that extra money went especially since it’s based on the existing Chiron.

The Boat Tail is also not a completely new creation either. It’s based on the Phantom which baffles me all the more when it comes to these highly priced vehicles. There just doesn’t seem to be any sense in them.

Of course, that’s subjective. I do not have £20million spare lying around to shell out on one custom vehicle. But even if I did, I’d want it built from the ground up and not sitting on the chassis of a vehicle that has a base price (not that there’s anything ‘base’ about a £350,000 car) that’s around 57 times less.

I suppose that’s the trouble with the ever increasing wealth of people. What do you make that they would want to buy? If I were Rolls-Royce, I’d lock myself in an elegantly comfortable soundproof room, so that I could laugh to my heart’s content whilst watching the company’s income statement go up by £60million. Because, on the face of it, seven figures for a car and a bunch of shiny glasses, knives and forks doesn’t add up. I don’t care how bespoke something is. It’s a Phantom on holiday.

And then I got thinking. Maybe the car itself isn’t the full price tag but is part of a bundle. What do wealthy people like more than spending money? Getting healthy returns on investment so they have even more money to spend.

And that’s where I think this Boat Tail makes sense. If seen as a direct investment in Rolls-Royce, then they can make up whatever figure they like. The car might, realistically, be worth £3-£5million and the rest is investment capital. True, BMW are the parent company, but Rolls-Royce has been relying less and less on its parent since it was taken over by the German marque. Where the first Phantom made under BMW ownership sat on a modified 7 Series and used a lot of the tech from that car, the current generation is practically all Rolls-Royce. The infotainment is still BMW but it’s been given enough of an overhaul to look like Rolls-Royce’s own. There’s also debate as to whether any of the switchgear has been lifted from the 7 Series. Again, if it has, Rolls-Royce has done enough to overhaul it that most buyers couldn’t tell the difference.

And so, with the three Boat Tail’s, I see these as £20million investments with a car bundled in that will appreciate in value. Rolls-Royce gets a nice cash injection that sees it less reliant on its parent; its reputation bolstered even further from all the pomp and hype these cars have generated; and the clients get an asset that will generate a return as well as them being truly unique. Of course, saying it’s £20million now means it is £20million and shall therefore be sold higher than that in the future. But then, when you’re dealing with one-off creations, no one really knows what the value of a thing actually is. And when you’re wealthy enough, do you even care?