I never considered myself a fan of Star Trek or a Star Trek nerd or a Trekkie. I watched every series as a boy with my parents on BBC2 here in the UK. I remember going to a Star Trek exhibition in Edinburgh in the early 90’s (I would have been 5 or 6) and seeing Deep Space Nine revealed as the next chapter in Star Trek’s history. I remember enjoying the shows especially the huge space battles. When ‘Old Trek’ offically ended after series five of Enterprise, it certainly was an ending. The Roddenberry style of Star Trek was over. His vision captured across 6 separate shows (I’m including The Animated Series), 31 series, 10 films and 5 decades. The characters and ships have had a huge impact on popular culture across the world. It seemed that, after such a long run, it deserved to rest in peace.

Then, in my twenties, we got the start of ‘New Trek’ with J.J. Abrams’ ‘Star Trek’ released in 2009. Unlike, ‘New Who’, which came out 4 years prior, this was not a continuation of the era of Captains Picard, Sisko and Janeway. No, Abrams (Whose father George worked on the Original Series. Make of that what you will) decided to go in a new-but-old direction. Going back to the beginning with Kirk et al, but with a modern twist. Flashy visuals (with enough lens-flare to give the blind back their sight), contemporary dialogue, fast-pace, cheap gags, loose tongues and looser plots. This was the start of a more insidious form of storytelling. The kind where it looks like the previous stuff but is actually an insult to the original creator and previous shows because it doesn’t uphold the core principles which it represents.

And the audience lapped it up.

14 years later, it’s still the highest grossing Star Trek film ever (adjusted for inflation). It’s clear that by the time ‘Nemesis’ was released in 2002, ‘Old Trek’ had run out of dilithium as had, most likely, the actors and crew.

And so, Abrams ushered in the new era with much fanfare and fan-service. For loyal viewers of ‘Old Trek’, there were plenty of references, member-berries and an extended cameo from Leonard Nimoy (Original Spock) to help with the transition and reminding those fans that the writers hadn’t forgotten about the old stuff. They just didn’t care.

Because Abrams ‘Kelvin Timeline’ version of ‘Star Trek’ allowed for less faithful versions of the older characters. Kirk was all action and no reason; Spock was more impulsive and less logical; Bones more whiny and less convincing. Uhura went from being a consumate professional to an officer that priortised domestic disputes over her captain’s orders. Whilst I enjoyed the film and its two sequels, as man in in my mid-thirties, I see now that this era of Star Trek is a reflection of the state within Hollywood and beyond.

Abrams directed ‘Into Darkness’ which was just a ‘Wrath of Khan’ ripoff but it served as the final stepping stone to the directors chair he really wanted – Star Wars. In 2015, ‘Episode VII – The Force Awakens’ grossed over $2billion worldwide and handed Abrams a sizeable paycheque.

With Abrams out of Trek, it was director Justin Lin who had to finish, what’s still, the trilogy. Coming out in 2016, ‘Star Trek Beyond’ was the lowest grossing of the Kelvin-era films but still ended up sixth-highest grossing Trek film overall. Oddly, it was the lack of Abrams that saw saw this film feel more like traditional Trek. Was that the reason for audiences not liking it as much? Who knows.

With three new films, it was time for Star Trek to return to its home – the small screen. 2017 saw the first new Trek show appear in over a decade with ‘Star Trek – Discovery’.

I watched the first series and was…confused, frustrated and unimpressed. The episodes moved along at breakneck speed, I heard the crew talk but not speak thus I got to know none of the characters. The protagonist (singular as this show focused on one person, not a crew), First Officer Michael Burnham, shot a Klingon Torchbearer which ended peace with the Federation and started a new war. She also shot her captain after disobeying her orders and assumed command of the USS Shengzhou. Both captain and ship were lost. Burnham was tried for mutiny and sentenced to life in prison but only served six months before serving on the USS Discovery. That was episode 1 and I gave the rest of the show a shot.

I found the storylines so weak, I don’t remember them. Same goes for the action, characters and dialogue with the exception of constant talking, swearing, disrespect and insubordination. And crying. Lots of crying. I remember wondering if there was a twist coming where the crew were actually pirates who had stolen the ship. Nope. This was a Starfleet crew, apparently.

I had issues with the ship too. Far, far too advanced for pre-Kirk era Trek.

Anyway. Minor rant over. I’ll get on with the main topic.

When I watched the final episode of the final series of Picard, I was…underwhelmed and relieved. This was better than series one (which I couldn’t finish) and I believe it’s far better than series two (which I didn’t watch). But it’s ‘better’ in a relative sense. It’s like being utterly ravenous and your only options are fast food places. It’s two in the morning and it’s a choice of McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC or the kebab shop. All are equally as bad. You know it. They know it. But you must choose. Picard series three is the kebab shop. It has the illusion of nourishment but it’s likely going to make your stomach hurt just as much as the booze you had too much of.

Firstly, it’s been 20 years since the cast of The Next Generation played their characters with the major exception of Patrick Stewart and the minor exceptions of Brent Spiner, Marina Sirtis and Jonathan Frakes who briefly reprised their roles in series one.

Physically, they all look in very good health which is nice to see. However, I couldn’t buy into their characters anymore. Too much time has passed. 20 years of not doing something does that. If I stopped driving now at 35 and picked it back up at 55, I will not be as good then as I am now. I could do it, but I wouldn’t be able to do it in the same way I do it now.

The actors can look back at footage and dig into their memories to help invoke the spirit of the character but that’s it. You get the spirit of, not the full flesh and blood being. I felt I was watching nothing more than echoes of once beloved characters.

Now, to get round this, I tried to imagine the actors were playing their characters as separate entities. After Nemesis, the crew went their own ways and didn’t really talk to each other which I struggled with since this crew were very close-knit and went through a few lifetimes worth of adventures. Even if they hadn’t spoken to each other in two decades, they should have fallen right back into their places just as if they were back on the Enterprise.

But they didn’t. Not quite.

The fact here is that the cast haven’t done much since Nemesis, again with the exception of Patrick Stewart altough most of his roles are voicework now. Barring a cameo in the last Doctor Strange film as an alternate timeline version of Professor Charles Xavier, his last big screen outing was also reprising that role in 2017’s Logan and there. In both films, he was largely confined to a wheelchair and didn’t have many lines.

I looked at the IMDB listings for the other members of the cast and it’s very much the same story. Since Nemesis, there’s a lot of voicework and straight to TV/DVD film and TV roles. Marina Sirtis was in The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time of all things; Jonathan Frakes took quite a few uncredited roles; Levar Burton was in Rise of the Zombies; Michael Dorn has also done a lot of voicework and managed a recurring role in six episodes of Castle; Gates McFadden…a lot of voicework; Brent Spiner…some TV episodes and the obligatory voicework.

Series three of Picard must have looked pretty damned good. I say nothing else.

And at their time of life, I can’t blame them for, what’s likely, a last hurrah in the spotlight. If only the hurrah was worthy of being the last.

I can forgive the actors. They do a good job after all this time. I didn’t like Worf. Can’t buy him as a pacifist with no reason given for being so. I can buy him as a Buddhist Monk Warrior who would rather not fight but will whip you if you bring the fight to him. That’s the older Worf I see. I also don’t buy his instant friendship with Raffi. It’s simply not earned.

I felt Picard had been allowed to regain his authority this series as there were a number of occasions where his assertiveness shone through. Riker was, more or less, the same and Troi had become considerably more maternal and nurturing which is hardly surprising since her and Riker had a child.

Dr. Crusher had changed substanially but the story allowed for the reason to play out. Gone was the caring and, sometimes, timid doctor and in came a no-nonsense version. Still caring but only when she had time to be. This Crusher was far more focused and no wonder. Her son (later to be revealed as Jean-Luc’s too) was being chased by the first of the series’ antagonists.

Geordi was largely unchanged with the exception of being a father to two 20+ year-old daughters who are both in Starfleet. There were moments towards the end where we saw him wrangle with being a high-ranking Starfleet officer and a father. Something I think most fans wouldn’t have expected given his luck with women on TNG. We never found out who the mother was.

And then there’s Data. By far, to me, the most enjoyable new iteration of a TNG character. Essentially, he is a 3-in-1 having incorporated the personalities of both Lore and Adam Soong, brother of Dr Noonian Soong. When he’s up and running, he’s very much a rounded character. Still has the logic and innocent curiousity of Data but there’s a temperance that comes from Lore and Soong which, ultimately, helps make Data human.

Outside of the TNG cast, I did actually like this series’ version of Seven of Nine. I found the badass lesbian from series one to be a bit too hollow. In this final series, she’s matured as a character and there seems to be some of the Starfleet officer from Voyager melded with the more rebellious version. A decent compromise.

Second – The effects, whilst far improved over the older shows, couldn’t always compete with the traditional models.

Third – Why do all Starfleet vessels have dark interiors? Is it supposed to make the show ‘edgy’? Imagine working in an environment with poor lighting and gloss black everywhere. You’d go mad!

Fourth – The story structure. The mystery box form of writing is very boring and very predictable. Things shown in the first three episodes but not revealed until episode nine ended up lacklustre and underwhelming since I’d already guessed them by the time they came round to be being shown. The writers really need to bring things forward much earlier to make things a bit more unexpected then take it from there. But, that’s asking too much of the writers who, let’s face it, are being pushed by the executives to write in a way that gets people hooked and therefore, they’ll subscribe to Paramount+ or Amazon Prime.

You know what else gets people to subscribe to your streaming service? A good, compelling story. Not cliffhanger after tease after cliffhanger until you’re so numb that you just want the show to end. And it was only ten episodes. Old Trek ran for 20-22 episodes a series with a similar runtime but there were no mystery boxes. You’d get an overarching story in the shape of the Borg or the Dominion War but plenty of episodes were dedicated to letting you know how each character functions when they’re not in a crisis as well as having standalone stories that were event-driven.

Current Trek doesn’t have that luxury. Despite having ten episodes, it doesn’t cram much in when it really should. We could have had more character development as opposed to mindless plot points or silly action sequences like watching the Titan thrownan asteroid at another ship. There was so much dead air and wasted opportunity. It could have truly been a great final voyage.

Fifth – The big one. The story itself. We largely follow the journey of Jack Crusher – son of Beverely and Jean-Luc though, for reasons not explained satisfactorily, in my opinion, Picard doesn’t know about his son until about halfway through.

Jack and Beverley are being chased by a formidable ship called the Shrike.

It’s rare that we see Federation vessels having to run and hide as the only way of dealing with an enemy but the Shrike is a rare enemy ship. Unlike many of the enemy ships seen in Star Trek, the Shrike is a dedicated hunting vessel, armed with all manner of things to capture its prey including a subspace portal weapon to stop a ship running away.

The Shrike’s captain, Vadic, (played with full camp by Amanda Plummer) is after Jack. Turns out he’s needed by Vadic’s boss –

Yes, it’s a Borg. And the crew of the Shrike are Changelings including Vadic.

Jack, being son of Locutus, is able to transmit commands to the Borg Collective. I’m skipping to the end because there are several episodes of fluff with him having visions and dreams of black vines (Borg nanotubes) leading to a red door. The Borg Queen needs Jack so he can be plugged into the Collective ahead of Federation Day where all of Starfleet’s current vessels will be at Earth. Quite stupidly on the Federation’s part (and conveniently for the writers), the whole of the current fleet is networked and therefore can act as a single unit. It’s like they just never learned what not to do after dealing with the Borg, isn’t it?

Coming back to the first half of the series now where Vadic and the Changelings end up despatched, seemingly killed. I had a major problem with this. The Changelings and the Borg are working together to bring down the Federation from within. On paper, sounds wonderfully insidious and terrifying. In reality, the Changelings stole Picard’s genetic code from the Daestrom Institute where it could be encoded into the transporters so that everytime crew used it, their code would become entangled with Picard’s (which has a receiver gene from the Borg). Jack would then transmit Borg commands to the assimilated fleet.

Do you see the problem? It requires a lot of convenient things to happen conveniently. First off, the Changelings need to break into a maximum security facility. Which they do, with ease. Second, Jack needs captured and coerced into plugging into the Collective. Which he does. Plus, someone has to then break into a master transporter server of some kind to then upload Picards’s genetic code so it can be scrambled with any crew member that uses the transporter. Assuming the entire crew of every single ship uses the transporter, which the writers have assumed here. We did not see infected crew members go round assimilating other crew members. They became Borg and immediately focused on terminating the unassimilated, i.e. any crew member over 25. Again, no specific reason given for this though I’d assume it’s to ensure longevity of the organic components of the new drones since the Borg were seeking to rebuild.

Hardly compelling and unpredicatable when the story revolves around plot points that only work when the required character slots neatly into the required situation regardless of how moronic it is.

And also –

That’s a Borg HyperCube (I’m calling it that because it’s ridiculously larger than a regular Cube) in the Eye of Jupiter! Starfleet didn’t notice this thing on their doorstep?! C’mon! Jean-Luc points it out having spotted it with his own eyes whilst it was a green speck. The writers seriously couldn’t come up with a better place for the remnants of the Borg to hide out except for the backdoor of the very adversary that defeated them over and over again? Bullshit.

And let’s just continue with the antagonists. They have the last vestiges of the Borg and the Changelings in the same series. Working together except they’re not. It was apparent that Vadic was in charge of the Changelings and she appeared to be taking orders from either the Borg Queen or a high-ranking Borg drone but it was never explained or shown just who she was reporting to. It was also never explained why the Borg and Changelings were working together. It was inferred that they were teaming up to destroy the Federation since both factions had been reduced to shadows of their former selves from the events of First Contact, Voyager and Deep Space Nine.

Instead, we got Vadic as the antagonist for the first eight episodes before the final two have the Borg as the antagonist. The switch was clunky and awkward and kept the two factions very much separate.

A far more terrifying prospect would have been that, with reduced resources, the Borg and Changelings created a sub-species which could imitate the appearance and physiology of anyone in Starfleet but have Borg nanoprobes running in its bloodstream. All you’d need is one of these new sub-species to infiltrate each Starfleet vessel and convert the officers into more of the subspecies. With the Changelings having developed the ability to imitate physiology and the Borg having refined their nano-technology to operate without implants, the pair would have had the perfect means to attack Starfleet without them knowing until it was too late. Both factions could sit back and relish their revenge playing out as Starfleet destroyed itself.

I’ll move on to the issue I had with bringing back the Enterprise D. Not that it wasn’t lovely or heartwarming to see the old girl again, but there was another ship at the Fleet Museum that would have better served the plot. The only Federation vessel that scared the Borg and was capable of tackling a small fleet of Cubes without much hassle.

Voyager.

Yes, we had the TNG crew and so it would have been odd for them to take Voyager into battle. However, we had Commodore La Forge say that he’d spent 20 years working on the Enterprise D. He could have also done some retrofitting to other ships in the museum. After all, Geordi was known for having some clever contingencies up his sleeve in case certain scenarios arose. It would not have been out of character or scope of the story that he’d made some tasteful modifications to all vessels in the museum in case the main fleet was ever compromised. Just imagine what a powerhouse the Enterprise could have been with the Voyager tech on-board.

This would have then allowed for a great story and fan opportunity. You’d still have the gloryshot of the TNG crew back on the bridge of the Enterprise D but, afterwards, they’d meet round the conference table and discuss which ships to take and who should take them.

This would have then allowed for another plothole to be resolved. Geordi mentioned that he had some drones loading torpedoes in the torpedo bay. But that was it. I agree with Dave Cullen that it is unfeasible for a Galaxy-Class starship to be manned by a skeleton crew of six when its full crew was between 1,000 and 6,000. This is where Geordi could have easily said he’d deployed drones to critical areas like Engineering and that he’d do the same for the other ships chosen as backup.

And on to those ships. The obvious first choice is Voyager with Seven as captain and Raffi as pilot. The next choice would have been the HMS Bounty with Worf as captain and Geordi as pilot. The Bounty would support the Enterprise against the Hypercube whilst Voyager supported the Titan. Whilst having Voyager and the Enterprise work together would be very cool, I think it would take some of the spotlight off the Enterprise since the Borg are very aware of Voyager.

The Enterprise, as flagship of the makeshift fleet, would be captained by Picard with Riker as Number One, Troi as Counselor whilst Data would pilot and Beverley could provide additional tactical support as well as medical.

But if Seven’s on Voyager then who would captain the Titan after Shaw died?

Commander Ro Laren.

It seemed the writers wanted to bring her back but didn’t know what to do with her so killed her off after one episode. It wasn’t an overly noble or heroic death either nor did we get a complete reconciliation between her and Picard. By keeping her until the last episode, more time could have been spent with her passing the intelligence she had on the Borg and Changelings as well as allow her and Picard to heal their divide. Then, she could have gone into battle with the Titan, it could have been destroyed saving the rest of the fleet or Laren could have been killed in a last stand against her newly converted crew. Either way, the character could have gone out memorably having earned it and fans would have felt she’d been redeemed. Plus, we’d have had the death of a main character which didn’t happen in this show.

Speaking of worthy deaths of main characters, I was not a fan of Captain Shaw. Some commentators thought he was a great foil for Picard and Riker. I’m not sure how since my take on the character was another attempt to gaslight the viewer into thinking that two exemplary Starfleet were anything less than that.

The character of Shaw was weak, paranoid, contrived and contrary. Qualities that should not be present in a captain. He reminded me of the captain that took over from Admiral Cain (Another memorable Michelle Forbes character) on the Pegasus in the Battlestar Galactica reboot. An engineer and only high-ranking member left after Cain’s mutinous and murderous betrayal, he couldn’t handle command and defaulted to his engineering background and kept trying to fix things himself instead of, well, commanding.

To be a foil, Shaw should not have been captain. He should have been first officer with Seven as captain. A captain needs to be fair, just, balanced, objective and optimistic as well a brave and daring in times of crisis and great need. The first officer can play bad cop and present alternatives to the captain. In this role, Shaw would have been good. But I guess we needed another straight, white male character in an ‘oppressive’ role whilst Seven was in the ‘oppressed’ role. It wasn’t heavy-handed but the subtext was there.

But blurting out his personal issues with Picard in Ten Forward was pathetic and showed a complete lack of understanding that Picard had been taken by the Borg and was no longer Picard. This lack of emotional maturity further weakened the character in my eyes. The better thing to do would have been to have summoned Picard to his ready-room and express his initial issues with having the former Locutus of Borg on board but to then explain how he got passed them and now accepts that Picard is Picard. This would have been the behaviour of a captain rather than spewing his problems out in a bar whilst other members of his crew are around.

His death had some nobility but didn’t redeem the character much, in my opinion.

The final issues I had were relating to the Titan. A ship which punched well above its weight, it became a little favourite of mine. Like an unassuming small dog that’s spent its life amongst larger dogs, this thing used its size to its advantage and made sure to out-manoeuvre the Shrike when it couldn’t outgun or outrun it.

At the end of the final episode, we’re forwarded a year on from the Borg being defeated to where Seven of Nine shares a few moments with Captain Tuvok who reveals she’s being promoted to Captain. This was correct, I felt. The character genuinely has all the makings of a great captain given her tutelage came from Janeway and Picard. But in Shaw’s recommendation, he specifically states that his reason for promoting her was, in part, because she’s reckless. And yet, he was criticising Picard and Riker of the same thing hence the chip on his shoulder. Seven is not a pirate, mercenary or some other kind of nefarious space-traveller. She’s smart, brave, objective, calm and is capable of making the right decision in a crisis even if it’s not ‘by the book’. That doesn’t make her reckless. It makes her competent with a willingness to bend the rules if the situation dictates it. I get the sense that the writers were trying to keep the current trend with ‘New Trek’ that insubordination is a desirable trait. It isn’t. Enough said.

We then join Jack Crusher who is being dropped off by his parents to his first official Starfleet posting as Special Counselor aboard the new Enterprise.

But the main fleet would still have, presumably, been in tatters a year on. They had the Enterprise D at their disposal. It could have remained the flagship until a real Enterprise G was built to retire the D…again.

And to give Jack Crusher such a senior position at the age of 23-24 appears to be another attempt by the writers to rub it in about how they likely got this gig. When approaching the Enterprise, there’s a discussion about how Jack got the post due to nepotism on having two Admirals and legendary officers as parents. Jack himself is the one who utters the line ‘Names mean almost everything.’ after revealing the Titan had been rechristened in his father’s honour.

Which is another odd thing I found. Picard had no connection to the Titan. The Enterprise D was his ship. Riker was in command of a previous Titan. If anything, a more fitting act would have been for Jean-Luc to hand command of the Enterpise D over to Riker so he could serve as captain of the temporary flagship. That way, the Enterprise D and Riker could retire together.

Command of the current Titan would have remained with Seven and would have been fitting for her character’s development. I understand Star Trek: Legacy is in the works and is likely to be about the further adventures of the Enterprise G. I will not be watching.

So, to sum up, I felt that this final series of Picard was better than what I saw of the first series. And that’s it. Yes, it may not be as cheesy as early episodes of TNG but this was contrived and designed with a cynical agenda in mind – To keep people subscribed to Paramount+. I hope people wise up to this model of programming and start unsubscribing until the quality of said programming increases significantly.

Until that happens, there is always ‘Old Trek’ to go back to. I still have the rest of Deep Space Nine to watch on Netflix followed by Voyager and Enterprise. ‘New Trek’ is just a pale imitation.

Star Trek is dead. May it live long and prosper.