Earlier this week, I watched a very damning video (Courtesy of AutoTrader’s Rory Reid) that Jaguar’s third brand relaunch, which started in 2008 after being acquired by Tata Motors, has failed. I, even as a proud Jaguar XF S owner, was not surprised to hear this. I have seen far less of the current compact executive XE and executive XF put together than I have of the old XF which seems to have had a rise in popularity the last few years. Whilst the launch of the F-Type in 2013 indicated a move in a promising direction, it was the launch of the F-Pace SUV in 2015 that started to move the company more towards its sister, Land Rover, whilst doing well, in terms of sales. The E (2017) and I Pace (2018) continued this.

Yes, it could be said that the ongoing popularity of SUV’s is what’s been sending Jaguar down the drain. If that were truly the case then sales of German saloons would also be severly hampered. They are not.

Instead, I would point the finger at two specific areas –

Volume and Design.

I read a CAR article three years ago, in which the magazine was interviewing a former Director at Jaguar. What he said was something I;d been thinking for some time. That Jaguar should have never gone chasing the sales volume of Audi, BMW and Mercedes as they were not equipped to do so. Of all the British marques, past and present, that could have done that, it was Rover. Their cars looked as smart as the Germans and were produced in volume. If Rover management were serious, quality and output could have been increased. Instead, they penny-pinched their way into an unwarranted grave.

Anyway, I digress. What Jaguar should have been under Tata was a bridging brand between the premium car sector and the luxury one. They should have been making cars that were bought by aspirational, wealty individuals who felt the Germans were too ‘everyday’ and needing something more unique, rare, exotic…exclusive, whilst on their way to being able to obtain an Aston Martin, Bentley or Rolls-Royce. Something that would turn heads and always look good no matter where it was. That’s how Jaguar’s were pre-2010, F-Type excluded.

Which brings me to the second area of Design. Where the XF and XJ saloons of the previous generation sold well due to being genuinly good (my XF turned 10 in January, has over 95,000 miles on it and has far less wrong with it than my BMW) and good-looking cars, the XE and second gneration XF looked…boring. Bland. Dull.

Is that how Jaguars should be?

They’re named after one of the Big Cats, for God’s sake! They should looked elegant, graceful, refined and precise whilst also looking equally brutal, aggressive, vicious and violent. In other words, equal parts femine curves and masculine muscle. Or, more metaphorically, Jekyll and Hyde.

It’s that duality that’s been a hallmark of the brand for decades. Whereas the Germans (current generation aside as they are also having an identity crisis) were easily identifed as the Conservative (Audi), the Bad Boy (BMW) and the Diva (Mercedes), a Jaguar – sorry, a Jaaaaaaag! should be the eccentric that turns up at the country club in a bold, devilshly well-tailored suit, thrashes the other three on the golf course, takes a pretty barmaid to the men’s locker for a good time before driving an elderly couple home whilst carrying 50kg of heroin and cocaine in the boot. That’s a Jag! It should show up the Germans as being as capable as all three whilst being damned good fun and looking good too! Women should want to be driven in one and men should want to drive one. It should be Bowie, the Stones, the Who and Queen on wheels but with the regal elegance of an English Country Estate; Two well-mannered, well-educated fingers held firmly up at its rivals before placing an expensive cigar between them and discretely, but oh-so knowingly, lighting it.

I’ll stop. I could go on. But I shan’t.

Back to serious talk.

The trouble with these two elements is they’re directly opposed to each other. Greater volume of production comes at a cost. The reason why the German premium firms sell so well is because they don’t look all that outlandish. The companies come from the world’s engineer. They were founded to be large-scale, high-volume manufacturers. And the designs have always reflected that with a few welcome one-off exceptions, the BMW Z cars, for example. But no one really lusts after a German. They’re too clinical. Too precise. Fine if you’re a successful business-person or want to show off a bit of status, but they don’t scream aspirational or individual.

And where Jaguar made its mistake in its current era was to, one could argue, bring itself down to the level of high-volume but well-made, smart-looking vehicles. Is that really what people flock to Jaguar for?

As I was saying before taking a brief wander, high volume comes at a cost. Parts need to be trimmed back and designs need to be tapered in. Curves and haunches are expensive. Straight lines are not. What the management did to Britain’s ‘Big Cat’ was take it out of the wild where it could roam free and eat meat, force it indoors and give it biscuits. The muscle has worn away because it’s no longer needed. It’s once aggressive, but beautiful face has softened as it doesn’t want to threaten the humans its now dependant on for food.

What the management have done is domesicate Jaguar. And it’s suffered, just like its namesake would.

For the upcoming relaunch in 2025, Jaguar is going to become all-electric. All. No more snarling V8’s or brutal V6’s.

The new CEO, the most British Thierry Bollore, and former Land Rover Chief Creative Office, Jerry McGovern (now on Jaguar’s board of management), plan to make the 2025 line-up a collection of small, non-SUV electric cars where they want to take on the likes of Porsche in terms of volume and quality.

Fair enough, but from the outset, it sounds like they’re putting the ‘Big Cat’ on a short leash until it roars no more and can only produce cute, adorable kittens that are fully domesticated out the womb.

If that’s what happens, Jaguar needs put down whilst it has some semblence of dignity. It’ll be hard, but who wants a Jaguar that can’t quietly and serenely own the place one moment and snarl, growl and roar the next? By going all-electric (I know they have to), they will have removed Mr. Hyde leaving only the gentile Dr. Jekyll. It’s Bruce Banner without the Incredible Hulk. Bruce Wayne without Batman. Whilst one half is very much needed to survive in society, the other is very much needed to survive as human keeping in touch with his inner animal.

And we’ll all need more of that as we enter this eerily quiet new frontier.