Category Archives: Seven Deadly Sins

Seven Deadly Sins – The Fourth and Final Part

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So, what do all of these have in common? From my own understanding (having experienced, as I think we all have at some point, all of these), I see these emotional attributes having one overarching theme.

They bring about isolation.

Pride can make you overconfident which would stop you utilising resources around you. Others will see that you’re not performing as best you can and could be heading straight for disaster. You still think you’re great at your job. Disaster strikes. You can’t handle it. You’re made to look incompetent. No one wants to work with you.

With envy, there’s a fixation element. A person will be stuck on, generally, one person but rather than aspire to be like them, they instead develop an unhealthy obsession over what the other person has versus what they don’t.

Rather than try to progress themselves to become better and, maybe, get to a similar level of the object of their envy, they build up a lot of resentment towards that person and themselves.

Again, this leads to a person being isolated because they’ll stop being present in their own lives and will always be comparing themselves to their target. Paranoia and cynicism can set in where you can start trying to find any dirt and pin it on your target so you can get some kind of perverted satisfaction out of knocking them down a few pegs.

Ultimately, if envy starts to leak out into your life where you start picking on people that you perceive to be better, others will pull away because they don’t want to be associated with you and, more importantly, don’t want to be infected with your toxicity.

Gluttony can manifest in a number of ways depending on a person’s disposition. If they’re a foodie, they’ll eat too much and get fat. A fitness freak will spend too much time at the gym. A shopaholic will buy way too much stuff. You get the idea.

Gluttony, the first of the sins of desire, is, in my eyes, an outward projection of how a person sees themselves and they will justify their actions accordingly despite them being unhealthy in other ways. In the case of the shopper, they will likely tell themselves they have enough money and have ‘worked hard’ to earn themselves a little reward. But what about savings, investments and pensions? Are they over-exerting themselves on driving a fancy car on lease rather than buy an equally fancy car used?

If they’re at the gym all the time, why are they there? Are they a bodybuilder or athlete? Ballet dancer? There’s a difference between someone doing exercise as part of an occupation or hobby compared to general fitness compared to an unhealthy obsession. I see lots of women at the gym chasing the ‘big booty’ and lots of guys looking to get ‘ripped’. A few weeks ago, I renewed my gym membership. I went and did my first strength session in three months. My first exercise was a lateral pull down. I started with 30kgs either side to see how it felt. Felt easy so I went and piled the weight on to 55kgs each side. That felt manageable. After the set, a guy asked if I was done. I said I had one more set. He asked if he could hop on whilst I rested. I agreed and let him get on with things. He didn’t change the weight but as I watched this guy (who looked a lot fitter than me), I saw him struggle. His form was poor, he was jerky and uncontrolled whereas I had been slow, steady and smooth. He finished and asked if I wanted another 10kgs either side. I did so he put on the weight. I sat down, did eight reps at 65kgs each side and finished. I had pushed heavier before stopping the gym, but this was me pushing the limit of my first week back.

The guy got on again and I watched him for a bit as he struggled with poor form yet again and all I could think was, Why? Was he in competition? Did he have something to prove to himself? Did he not like that a seemingly less fit looking guy was pushing more than him? Whatever the reason, I saw it as potentially unhealthy behaviour. How did he get so toned yet struggle with a moderate weight for the given exercise?

Anyway, I’m rambling. My point here is, to bring it back to gluttony, is that if a person looks fit yet can’t perform an exercise that looks well within their capabilities then have they achieved the look through other means? Exercise is certainly an important way of achieving a certain look, but actors speed up the results using steroids and other drugs.

So, if a person is obsessed with achieving a particular body shape then what other unhealthy behaviours are, they indulging in to achieve it?

In the case of the foodie, if they have gotten overweight, are they happy like that? Some will be and will accept how they are or will recognise they need to trim things down but don’t put too much pressure on.

If they’re not happy then what is the food replacing and why do they ‘need’ so much of it? Is it a lack of self-control and self-discipline? Are they unhappy in their own skin but, being a foodie rather than a fitness person, do they look to food as way of getting the dopamine hit? If that’s the case, then a vicious cycle begins because they won’t do exercise to burn the calories and they won’t watch what they eat from lack of self-control, so they just get bigger and bigger.

Are they unhappy in their relationship? Do they feel neglected? Has sex disappeared? Food is a common substitute for intimacy but it’s certainly a poor one.

Gluttony isolates in a similar way to envy only the unhealthy obsession is with yourself rather than another person. The term ‘glutton for punishment’ is appropriate because gluttony is an act of self-harming regardless of how it looks on the outside. Only the glutton knows the real reason why they indulge so much on one thing.

Greed, the second, is similar to gluttony, however, I see it as the polar opposite. Greed is about being consumed by the pursuit of the material and the superficial. A person may try to feed themselves with wealth, property, cars, clothes amongst other things but ultimately, will be unfulfilled. Yet, because they have no meaningful pursuits or no way to identify what is meangful to them, they continue to obtain more and more. Eventually, they become overwhelmed and end up being controlled by a lifestyle that is, realistically, not sustainable. The pursuit of such things deters anyone who previously wanted to engage and connect thus isolating the greed-ridden person only to leave them to their unquenchable thirst and impossible chase. The endeavour will consume the afflicted and their life will be controlled by that which they desire.

Lust, on the other hand, isolates by turning a person into an object or a fetish. If sex, and all its accompanying components, is their obsession, then you have to wonder if they can look beyond the chemistry and look at the person underneath? Can they form a relationship? Are they mature enough to commit? Are they responsible? Like gluttony and greed, there is an issue with self-control. A person engaging in lustful activities can end up spreading themselves too thin to the point where it’s no longer people having sex but more about what’s going in where. The human aspect disappears and the focus in using a certain body part to achieve pleasure. It’s why one-night stands can feel so cold afterwards.

Recognising how sloth isolates is much easier. The person can’t be bothered to make an effort. Social engagements, work, family commitments, eating habits, you name it, it’s all too much effort for a sloth. No matter how much encouragement, patience, understanding or support is given, if they can’t be bothered to recognise the help then why should others bother to offer help? Eventually, they’ll stop, and the sloth will be alone. At some point, they’ll see but it may be too late to do anything by then.

Wrath is also fairly easy to see how it isolates. Anger generates fear or more anger which leads to some steering clear and others trying meet the Wrath head on. Fighting fire with fire only creates more fire and pulling away gives more space for the fire to spread thus increasing the radius of isolation. The more angry a person is perceived to be the more distance is put between them. Either that or people get burned if they fail to put the fire out.

For the bonus, naivety brings about isolation when others recognise you’re an easy target. Like sloth, people will be sympathetic at first and offer help in showing you the ropes. But if you’re not picking it up and just not displaying any kind of intelligence or awareness then you’ll just be seen as incompetent. Showing a willingness to learn is one thing but you must be able to retain knowledge and use it in your current situation even it’s a new one to you. Being able to adapt is a skill and shows others you can stand your ground and assert yourself. If you keep wandering blindly into things, you’re going to make a mess and end up doing harm.

Yes, people make mistakes through lack of knowledge. That’s fine. That’s human. But continuing to make the same mistakes shows a sheer lack of concern, respect and ability to learn. Therefore, the good and capable people move away from you because you’re beyond their help. Once you’re exposed, the sharks move in and that’s when you end falling prey to your own stupidity.

If you’ve read this then you have my appreciation and gratitude. If you have any points of discussion, please leave them in the comments section.

Seven Deadly Sins – Part 3

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Wrath

Wrath and Lust are fairly close bedfellows. Both can get a person heated and passionate; both are powerful and direct when strong enough; and one can be a trigger for the other.

Wrath, or anger, however, is fostered by rejection rather than a feeling of acceptance which creates a sense of love. When a person is angry, they return the rejection many times over because the initial rejection wounded them so badly. If that rejection is never overcome, then it changes a person’s perception of emotional connections. They can become very distrusting and will actively reject any and all who try to form some kind of relationship. If they continue on that path then they’ll end up alone and isolated, but they may blame the world for that because they can’t handle admitting that they couldn’t accept the rejection at that time or indeed, overcome it later.

Anger is possibly the most potent and destructive of the sins because it can be caused by the other six but the other six aren’t really caused by anger except lust as looked at earlier.

So, if we imagine anger as a pressure cooker or a volcano and the other sins as being fuel or elements that add to that build up then you end up with a highly destructive and unpredictable force that can do a lot of damage to itself and others. It’s the mix of other volatile elements in that pressurised container that makes anger so terrible.

The frustration and rage can be devastating if left alone to fester. A person may suppress it and, on the surface, come across normal but, once you start digging a bit deeper, you’ll see signs of someone who really doesn’t like the world. And the thing with anger is that, in many cases, it’s irrational.

You may have had a poor relationship with your parents and that has, understandably, affected how you interact with people. Maybe your father was a very aggressive and violent person leading your mother to live a life of fear dragging you along too. As you grow up, that resentment grows and the repressed emotions fester. Usually, a child will act out because they don’t know exactly why they’re angry. An adult, on the other hand, should know why and should manage it maturely. However, some will project their anger on to others making them feel they are to blame for the angry person’s predicament when, in fact, the anger is being displaced on to them and has come from a completely different place. Therefore, those who have experienced anger projected at them can feel confused, upset and even be angry back. Unresolved anger is a disorientating animal.

And so, the explosive element of anger is what gets in the way of a person making good, constructive progress in their lives. That broadening scope of who gets burned can become all-consuming if left unchecked. But then, if you’re afraid of getting burned yourself, would you go near the fire and try to put it out?

Naivety

I’m throwing this one in as a bonus. Naivety or…ignorance, to me, is not just a person’s lack of experience, skill or knowledge in a given situation but it’s also their inability to learn from being manipulated and exploited. If a person isn’t smart enough to use their intelligence or any other attribute (listed in the previous three posts) then they’ll remain the clean slate or the blank canvas to be used and abused by others how they see fit.

If you go about blissfully unaware of what’s going on around you then you’ll never learn how to avoid getting into bad situations or, if you can’t avoid them, how to come out of them better and stronger thus putting you in a position to deal with them more effectively in the future.

Ignorance is not bliss. It’s a failure to see the bigger picture because you either don’t want to see it or can’t comprehend what’s in it. Either way, it doesn’t paint well for you.

So, what do all of these have in common? Please come back for the final entry in this series of posts to find out. �

Seven Deadly Sins – Part 2

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Gluttony

Greed is the most obvious thing we think of when we look at this sin/attribute. The ‘need’, the desire to have more than is necessary. Today, it’s a multi-billion-dollar industry. Capitalism, consumerism and materialism can all be traced back to this simple attribute. The only difference now is that it’s widespread and therefore accepted. We ‘need’ a new phone every year. We ‘need’ a new car every three years. We ‘need’ new clothes every month.

The trouble with gluttony is that it’s a drain on resources and our resourcefulness. It’s only when we can’t get what we want that we start to utilise them more effectively.

When it comes to personal progress and success, the need to get more money so we can buy a better lifestyle gets in the way of the more important things. We stop getting to know those around us who might actually be able to help us achieve what we want. The probably with that is, it requires a form of selflessness and, well, gluttony is selfish. It can’t allow anyone else to take a cut in what it believes is rightfully its own.

Its almost like an unquenchable thirst or never ending hunger. No matter how much you think it’s satisfied, it always wants more. Whatever you have. Whatever you’ve given it, it’s not enough. You then start making irrational choices. Taking out multiple credit cards and loans. Hiring supercars so you can feel rich and hope to impress the ladies (that’s a thing now). Or gamble what little money you have on the dream of getting back a hundred-fold more so you can live out an unrealistic lifestyle.

The trouble with gluttony is just that. It’s idealism magnified but with all the rationality, maturity and wisdom removed. It’s a child who acts like a king but hasn’t earned his throne then demands the treasury pay for banquets, dances and royal visits when there’s a war on.

Lust

I think this can be characterised by the hyper-sexualisation of today. More people starring in film and television are unrealistically attractive; Music videos and porn are almost the same thing ; and the race for physical ‘perfection’ is becoming more common whether it’s through cosmetic surgery or hitting the gym to get that ‘lush booty’ or a big set of ‘guns’.

The point is, we are becoming more and more obsessed about becoming desirable and being desired. People ‘must’ look, sound, act and smell attractive at all times. Why? My thoughts are that, with an ever increasing and aging population, there are more people becoming more insecure about not mating. Maybe because they think they don’t have much else to offer besides being attractive so they work on it more so they can get a good wife/husband who fills in their blanks.

I see it at the gym and around the city. What passes for women’s gym wear/running gear is verging close on exhibitionism. I see girls on the treadmill all dolled up seeing how many guys are checking them out or hoping that ‘one guy’ has spotted them.

There’s then, of course, the damsel in distress. The woman who ‘needs’ a big, strong man to lift something for her or remove some of the weights from a machine so she can do her next exercise. She might try and get him to show her how to do some movements so she can look at those big, strong arms and imagine how safe she’d feel all wrapped up in them. Or…how wanted she’d feel when those arms pin her to the wall so she can be kissed passionately.

The men aren’t much better. Okay, most guys don’t wear terribly skimpy outfits, but they do over-exaggerate their movements. The gym may be a place to get some cardio or weights done for some people but for others, it’s a place to get yourself laid.

The issue with lust is it brings out a lot of insecurities in some. Too many feelings of worthlessness that drive them further to becoming something they’re not which, in turn, makes them less happy, less confident and, therefore, less desirable.

The flipside of lust is that you can be too desirable, and you can be too generous with it. Your ego is getting regular boosts from prospective mates who all want to wine and dine you or be wined and dined by you. You’re all too aware of how much you’re wanted so you start to play games. I’ve seen some women setting men off against each other just for the satisfaction of knowing that she’s so wanted that several men are directly competing against each other for the right to date her. It’s a fairly disturbing thing to watch from the outset. Seemingly rational, reasonable men who might even be friends getting up to all manner of deception and betrayal just so they can have the privilege of planting their seed in a female they all value so highly. Imagine if David Attenborough did a documentary on modern human mating rituals? It may uncover a number of things about us we wouldn’t want to see.

So, my experience of lust is that it can drive a person to madness or depression. You can lose your humanity and be overwhelmed by the base animal instinct that simply wants to fuck or be fucked and all context is thrown out the window if the desire is strong enough. For me, lust is driving the current trend of narcissistic behaviour.

Sloth

Or just plain laziness. Sloth will kill your productivity thus killing your chances of ever moving in the direction you want in life. We can also call this procrastination which is a bit more than being lazy because you’re actively, consciously avoiding the very thing you need to do and doing something that may well be useful but, ultimately, isn’t important right now. If you’re an aspiring writer, the goal is to write as often as you can. Ideally, every day. Same goes for any aspiration. Do something every day. But, if you’re spending more time washing dishes, playing games, watching Youtube videos and chatting to friends in real life or on social media then you’re either not that bothered about that writing career or you’re too lazy to the put the work in.

The thing with sloth is that I believe it’s symptomatic of a person’s unwillingness to step up to the challenge.

What challenge?

The challenge of improving themselves. For many, it’s far easier to create an amazing avatar in a video game than it is to level themselves up and create an amazing life. They’d rather speak hypothetically to their friends about what they ‘could’ have rather than doing something about it and getting it.

Sloth is passive. Sloth is a time sink. Sloth will take you by the neck and slowly wring out any want and desire you have for bettering yourself.

If you’re noticing yourself being consumed by this then find a way to give yourself a kick up the rear and get going because you’re on this planet once so, make it count.

Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Ways to Win…

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‘Seven Holy paths to Hell and your trip begins’ as the song goes.

So, if the nine attributes that allow you to succeed (however that looks to you) are money, resourcefulness, assertiveness, attractiveness, submission, communication, networking, intelligence and smart then what counters them?

I think the Bible still has a lot to teach us (I’m not overly religious but, from an analytical standpoint, religion is on to something) when it comes to how we should conduct ourselves. Ultimately, the fight between the Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Holy Virtues (as depicted in the fifth century Prudentius poem, Psychomachia) is about balance and how we achieve harmony not just with each other but within ourselves.

And that’s partly the reason behind the previous three blogs. I feel that we, as a species, had an equilibrium with ourselves for a time but it’s now out of kilter. There’s a disturbance in the Force, you might say but I believe it’s true. A lot of things that had meaning have lost it and what’s replaced it has little to no meaning or, at the very least, a superficial meaning. Social media, we could argue, has replaced religion to some degree only instead of finding faith and being given a sense of belonging and purpose whilst also being treated and known as an individual, it’s been replaced with an online scramble for attention. To me, it’s like the adults have left the room and the kids are fighting over who has the best toy. We had something representing order, structure and discipline. A communal template where we walk our path to maturity and adulthood. And now, I see a lot of things in disarray. Yes, people still get things achieved but it seems messy and uncertain.

When I was looking at those nine attributes, I couldn’t help but think of the Seven Deadly Sins as their mirror images. Attributes that would hinder rather than allow you to chart your path to success. I have added one more that I believe to be of similar weighting. Let’s go over the originals.

Pride

Over-confidence. Arrogance. Vanity. You could throw in narcissism as well since it’s very much a focal point of modern Western culture through Facebook, Instagram, etc. The problem with pride is that you’re blind to other things around you that can actually be of use. When you truly think you can lead that project, score that goal, develop that idea or carry out any other task completely on your own then you’ve just set yourself up for failure. ‘Pride comes before the fall’ and it’s very true. If you’re not aware of your surroundings and fixate on achieving that one objective that you just know will get you noticed, then you’re not going to see the cliff until you’ve fallen off it. Others will see you mindlessly moving towards it but because you thought you could do it all on your own, people will let you fall.

The other issue with pride is it stops you asking for help. As Darwin said, ‘Arrogance breeds confidence’ and so you probably won’t even think to ask anyone around you for support. Or, if you have, then you’ve decided they’re not good enough and you’re the only capable of completing the task.

Pride makes you stupid. It stops you using your intelligence and seeing what’s around that could make you do the job better.

Envy

Pride can be positive in certain contexts. Your child does well at school, or your SO gets a new job or a promotion. The same can’t really be said for envy. If you’re envious then you’re spending too much time focusing on what someone else has that you do not. This, from my experience, comes from feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem and low self-worth. A person can be completely capable of doing all the things another can, but they just don’t believe it. And that disbelief turns into a toxic mix of anger, depression and, in some cases, hatred. A person can be angry because they see another as being able to do or have something, they perceive themselves as unable of achieving or obtaining. They become frustrated because they’ve worked so hard and have nothing to show for it meanwhile someone else has a seemingly easier time and has gained more rewards. The more this goes on, the more the envious person gets trapped by the thoughts and, eventually, depression sets in and sends them down a destructive path which may manifest into hatred towards the other person where it may be projected onto them.

Envy is dangerous to both yourself and others.